Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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