The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
