So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
