what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
