I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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