We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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