that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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