Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
