Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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