Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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