I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos