Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.