is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The power of my boobs compel you
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening