having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?