they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.