i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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