I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
