just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
