Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
