butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
