Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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