Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
