Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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