I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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