Your face is a jimmy john
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
