I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
