I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
