is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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