fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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