i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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