I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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