cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
