I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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