just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
