Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm too high and old for this...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize