I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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