o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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