I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
