Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
