I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize