I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dear god my vagina.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
