Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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