Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
