Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
