i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize