i just google imaged poop.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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