just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
