problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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