PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
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I won't apologize to a one balled man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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