kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
