I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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