just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
