I feel great
I just peed on a car
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
