how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
