Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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