she was so not down for the gang bang
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
