she smelled like a LAN party
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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