cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
