i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
