They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
