everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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