There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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