So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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