Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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