Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize