there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
