You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
