sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
